Things I usually do not discuss out-loud.

10 myths about introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Alright, enough

I have done a horrible job of keeping up with this blog.  It’s heartbreaking, I’m sure, to the whole 16 people who follow my blog, so to those, I apologize.  I have a tendency to let others music and pictures do my blogging for me; perhaps I feel that they can explain me and my feelings better than I can sometimes….but regardless, this post is coming from me and my observations/realizations/reflections/what-have-you. If you read my entries often, you’ve realized that my writing is very “stream of consciousness”, so if there is ever anything that you need reiterated, please let me know.

Let me start off by asking a question.  Why do we allow the ones we “love” to hurt us so badly?  This has been the subject of many recent conversations as of late, but yet, when discussed, never seems to get a valid answer.  Nobody can explain why we let the bitch ex-girlfriend manipulate our hearts or why we allow the asshole ex-boyfriend drag us around as they wish.  This behavior is a multitude of things:

1. destructive

2. painfull

3. counter-productive

4. ludacris

5. insane

(pop question: What is the definition of insanity?)

answer - Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Anyone who has ever been apart of this kind of behavior can spell it out for you perfectly.  Lets watch it happen:

Your heart gets broken- you try and move on- not or semi successful, but not completely- D-bag/Bitch shows back up because they were also unsuccessful-cycle repeats.

Pretty typical of what happens in these situations, as far as a generalization goes.  It sounds crazy, but this happens all of the time.  but why? why do we feel so helpless against these people? What is it that makes them so special?  Most of the time, the answer I get is “I don’t know”.  To me, that is the most baffling part of the whole thing: the fact that people continue to let themselves be disappointed by these people.  Actually, the more baffling is probably when we try to make excuses for them.  

“I know he/she still loves me”  ”They’re going through a tough time”  ”He/she is confused, but they’ll come around” “They’re the only one who understands me”  ”I’m the only one who understands them, so they need me”

I guarantee i’ve used all of these and more at some point.  We all have.  For some reason, when these people occur in our lives, we make them the sole caretakers of our happiness.  We treat them as our other halves and we feel that we are not complete without them.  We treat them as the end all/be all.  And this is why its so difficult to just drop them.  How do you reject the one thing that you feel brings you life? happiness? 

What I have come to realize is that you have to come to a certain breaking point; when is enough enough?  When do you decide that you cannot give the last remaining bit of your being? Talks with my mother have always been helpful, for she has been married to my father for…..a long time.  Granted: their marriage is no where near perfect.  But their love has never wavered.  She told me that she had been in situations like mine and the ones described above, and she told me this: their love was reciprocated between each other.  

Here is what happens to us: we send the love out but never get it back.  We give but don’t get.  It’s a linear relationship versus a cycle.  We give and we give and we give our love to this person who clearly doesn’t deserve it.  And we make up the dumbest reasons why we continue to use this behavior.  It gets us no where.  so when is enough enough?

When you decide that you deserve better.  

It’s really as easy as that.  The key is believing it.  Someone who used to be pretty close to me said that I needed to stay single for a while so that I could discover myself, and that has been the best advice I have ever received.  Since I have taken on this advice early on this year, I have been the happiest I have ever been in my entire live.  I have went on numerous dates and have met some great people.  Most didn’t work out for various reasons, and thats ok.  Because I’m happy with it.  I’m enjoying the journey.  

Guys, please do yourselves a favor and allow your self to explore and to be happy.